Anytime you want to change something about yourself or your situation it seems someone or something gets in your way. It can never be an easy task to make difficult changes you know will help you live a happier, more productive and successful life. Life happens and things come at you so unexpectedly that you want to quit and stay the same, even if that means being miserable or complacent.

Change is hard, no doubt, but to transform your life in order to obtain happiness, success and greatness, here are eight tips to get you started on your true life’s journey.

1) Stop Playing the Blame Game.

Yes, bad things have probably happened to you in your childhood, and that’s unfortunate. But you are an adult now and you must release the blame that you have placed upon others, including your parents, siblings, children, employer, God, politicians, etc. When you release the blame, you can start to move to the next step. If you need help doing this enlist the help of a therapist or mental health professional.

2) Take 100% Responsibility For Your Life.

As an adult you have lived long enough to know there are good decisions and there are bad decisions. Where ever you are presently in your life is a result of your decisions, choices, or actions. If you have a health issue and the doctor said eat healthier and exercise and you don’t do this, it’s your decision. If you stay in an abusive relationship, it is your decision. If you don’t quit that job where your boss is sexually harassing you, it’s your decision. If you kids are unruly little brats, it’s your decision to have them be that way. The point is whether you make wise, healthy choices or destructive, harmful choices at least be man or woman enough to admit when you screw up. Don’t make excuses for your actions, choices or decisions. Own up to them in order to move forward. Then do the work necessary to stop making dumb ass decisions.

3) Eliminate the Cancer in Your Life

In order to truly make a healthy transformation you must surround yourself with people who are in the position you hope to be one day. People who have their act together and they can help you grow and change. People who will support you, guide you, uplift you, and kick you in the butt when you get off track. This means you must let go of all the naysayers, haters, doubters, and others who just don’t understand what you are trying to do with your life. These people will eat you alive, like cancer, and you have to rid yourself of this disease. It doesn’t matter if these people are family, friends, co-workers, etc. You will never “fix” your life if you remain around people who want to control you, guilt you, lessen you, abusive you, or any other negative behavior.

4) Failure is a Part of Life’s Lessons

People look at failing as one of the worse things that could ever happen to them, but the truth is failing is important for your growth as a person. Failure builds character, helps you learn from your mistakes, and teaches you that the world isn’t going to end.

It has been said that “if you want God to laugh just tell Him your plans,” and the truth is we can plan all we want, but there is no guarantee things will work out exactly as we mapped them out. But here’s the good thing, when things don’t go right it’s okay. To become success means you will make many mistakes, missteps, wrong turns, etc. However, it’s how you deal with that failure that separates the successful people from the ones who truly fail and stay in a state of “why me?” Instead of wallowing in self-pity, despair, depression and giving up, people who want to “fix” their lives will see that failure as a learning opportunity.

5) Forgive Yourself

Spiritual leaders, therapists, and life coaches have been said that it is vital to forgive people who have done you wrong in order for you to release the pain and move on, but it is even more important to forgive yourself for mistakes you’ve made.  It seems people who have committed small indiscretions to heinous offenses have a difficult time forgiving themselves, and often feel they must pay life-long penance.  Forgiving yourself doesn’t mean you forget what you have done. However, it does mean it is just as important to forgive yourself as it is to forgive others. This doesn’t mean you get off the hook for what you have done, but it does mean that you realize to remain in a state of anger, resentment, or hatred for what you have done in your past is too time consuming and is exhaustive.  Don’t dwell on your mistakes. Work to forgive yourself and when you do your life will surely change for the better.

6) Envision You Are Living the Life You Desire

If you don’t think vision boards are important look at some very successful people who use them – Jim Carey, Kellan Lutz, Oprah Winfrey, Ellen DeGeneres, Katy Perry, and others.

So what is a vision board? – It’s collage of words and pictures that represent your goals and dreams.  That big house you will buy one day. That vacation to Spain you will book one day, which is why you are learning Spanish. Starting that business you’ve been working toward for the past five years. Getting that corner office as the new CEO of the company you work for. Going back to college to get your degree.


The pictures and images you put on your vision board represent your goals and seeing these images daily will strengthen your resolve to work hard on what it will take to make those goals a reality. Build your vision board on cardboard and make it as decorative as you want with words, photos, images. It’s your life.

7) Be Grateful

Each day when you wake up before you do anything else take the time to state what three things you are grateful for. Waking up should be one. You can even keep a grateful journal and jot it down. Each day should be three different things. No matter how bad your life is there is always something to be grateful for because it could be worse. Find even the smallest thing to be grateful for, e.g. the sun is shining.  Even if you have a terminal illness, you may think there isn’t much to be grateful for, but there is. Reflect on your life and rejoice in all you’ve accomplish. Be grateful you have family or friends around you in your last months on earth.

Being grateful means to be thankful. Say it out loud – thank you for ___________.  Don’t take anything for granted.

8) This is Your Life, Damn What People Think

When you start to “fix” your life you lose many people you thought were your friends and family members you thought had your back. People hate change and when you are deep into transforming your life, some, no many, will not get it. They will question you about your actions, your choices. Some people will think you done lost your damn mind.

“What do you mean you’re leaving your husband? He’s a good provider to you and your kids. Oh, the hitting you part, he only does it sometimes.”

“You’re quitting your job to start your own company. Are you out of your mind? What about security?”

“You’re moving to Hollywood to pursue acting. You know how many people do that each day and they fail?”

“You can have a donut. You’ve already dropped 20 pounds. That’s enough.”

When you start the process of “fixing” your life, remember it’s your life. Not everyone will get what you’re doing and so what. They don’t have to. Start associating with people who do “get it.”

If have a question you would like to ask “The Legitimate Fixer,” email Jillian at speakerjillianbullock@gmail.com.

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