Dream Killers

Since I was a young girl, I have always had the notion that all people dream about amazing, wonderful, creative, and exciting things. I guess I thought that way because since I can remember I’ve been a writer. As a girl I was an avid reader and writing essays came natural to me. Stories took me away from the crazy, sometimes unpredictable life I had as a black girl being raised by my African-American mother and white stepfather, who was a member of the Italian Mafia. Not your typical household, for sure.

Although my mother instilled in me that I should get a college degree, a job that I could earn a decent salary, and get married and have children that was her life for me. However, I had other things in mind for my life. The rebel, that’s what my mother and other family members called me because I wanted to become a filmmaker. That was unheard of in the 70’s. There were few female or African-American filmmakers during that time.

To make matters worse in my mother’s eyes, I was a martial artist and a tomboy. Not the dainty, little lady she wanted me to be. She always said to me, “You’re not gonna find a good husband that way.” When I told my mother I wanted to compete in martial arts, she refused to pay for my lessons. At twelve years old, I got my first job delivering newspapers so I could pay for classes. Despite what my mother said, it was my dream to not only get a black belt in Tae Kwon Do, but to compete against males, not females. I figured if I could beat a guy I definitely could defend myself in practically any violent situation.


Instead of support from my loved ones I got negative feedback and pressure to conform to how society said females were supposed to act. I was having none of that. I was not your typically female. I was going to follow my dreams and live my life on my terms; the  hell with what other people said. Tough talk, right? But eventually the naysayers and dream killers got to me. I eventually had children, got married, and went to on to get a college degree, and worked as a journalist at The Wall Street Journal.

After each failed marriage, (three in all), I decided I couldn’t let the dream killers swallow me up anymore. I had to live my life on my own terms. Eventually I came to the realization that marriage wasn’t for me, and that institution isn’t for everyone. I also realized that my job as a reporter, although it paid very well, my dream was to be a filmmaker. I also accepted the fact that I would never be the “typical” female by society’s standard, and that was just fine. Nothing was more important to me than turning my dreams into reality and I never doubted that I would achieve great things in life. My dreams became my passion each and every day. My dreams got me through some of the most difficult times in my life, including homelessness, drug addiction, and cancer.

The greatest feeling in the world is to not only dream, but to turn those dreams into reality, which I have been blessed to do.
The truth of the matter is that many of us give up on our dreams. Why? 

People allow the struggle, the hardship, the stress, the hard work, or the dream killers to get inside their heads. People throw in that proverbial towel when things get tough. They give up, quit, and abandon their dreams because they don’t want that dream bad enough. They make excuses. They can’t take another failure. They don’t want to make the sacrifices. They listen to what others say as oppose to listening to their heart.

First, let me say that there is nothing wrong with living a “normal” life. However, being a dreamer helps you live a spirited life; one filled with wild visions of things only you can imagine, and achieve. You look out and see the life you know you were destined to live. It comes to you like a movie from beginning to end. You may not be living that existence right now, but as long as you keep dreaming and striving to make that dream a goal and that goal a reality, it’s what fuels you each day, and helps you live with passion.

Here’s 8 Reasons Why It’s Important To Dream

1) To have a dream, you must have courage because if your dream is big enough, and it should be, people will think you have lost your damn mind. You will need courage to be unstoppable.

2) When things are really bad in your life dreams will help you keep going. They distract you from all the turmoil, stress or drama that’s going on.  Take a few moments each day, even several times a day, to close your eyes and envision your dream becoming reality.

3) On your journey to accomplishing your dream you will learn to be grateful, even for the failures. It’s the failures and setbacks that help you appreciate all that you accomplish. Failure it a big part of success because you learn from those mistakes. You change the plan or direction to get to the finish line.

4) Remember you are never too old to dream. Age means nothing when you know what you want.

5) It is fun proving to people, especially the naysayers, doubters, and haters, that they were wrong.

6) When you dream it helps you hold on to the notion that you can, and will, have a better life; one that’s filled with success and greatness.

7) Keep a journal of your dreams, with clear steps to take to turn those dreams into reality. Writing these proactive steps down will keep your organized, focused and determined.

8) Use a vision board as a source of imagery. Put the board filled with photos of your dream(s) in a place in your house or apartment where you can look at it throughout the day as a reminder.

The bottom line is this – You must believe in yourself wholeheartedly. You must keep your dreams close to your heart. You can’t allow anything, or anyone, to deter or misguide or re-direct your path to a life is destined to be filled with abundance, greatness and success.

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